If You're Frightened of Dying, and You're Holding on, You'll See Devils Tearing Your Life Away

But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels...

Freeing you from the earth.



I thought it would be nice to have a little change here on the Ol' Blog. And, as the above quote suggests, it involves making peace, and freeing things from corporeal existence.

Specifically, it involves deleting 95% of the items currently in my bookmarks in Firefox.

And what better way of doing that then by giving them eternal life here on the Internets? After all, even if none of you find it useful, I can use this blog as an external bookmark storage device until it gets destroyed one day.

Oh, and to save time, consider every link presented here to be NSFW. Even if they aren't, the sheer volume of random pages you're going to be looking at over the next little while will probably alert the Powers That Be that you have been neglecting your Facebook during office hours, which may put your employment at risk.

So, without further ado, I present Memories... Part 1

The best way to start a journey of this nature is to crack open a little something special to help pass the time. Why not one of these?

I may have failed to mention above that these links go back over a year (I have lost 3 hard drives in that time, but Foxmarks has kept my bookmarks from being obliterated). It's kind of funny given my current preocupation with sexual frustration, that I was bookmarking pages on the subject so long ago...

With a name like Your Mom, it has to be good.

Vintage geekdom: A page of mechanical robot toys from the last half of the last century. My personal favourite was not actually available as a toy.

Houls of enjoyment...

You are what you eat. Yet another reason to hate vegetarians.

Think Dawn of War was the greatest game ever made? Close, but it's actually second-greatest (Follow the very simple directions to access the actual game).

Hours of fun from an extremely dated game show phrase. Wow... I was just playing with it and I got "You are the rudest weblog". Isn't that awesome?

This is probably the greatest webcomic in existence. Just keep hitting Refresh.

Just a little example of perspective changing over time. Some things change, but others stay exactly the same (The adds today say it's a 50 year record).

A helpful little reality adjuster for all (or maybe only some) who read these electronic pages. When you come to the end of the test, the second paragraph will list two percentages, mine were 96 and 93 (This is deliberately obscure in order not to give the test away).

This level is classified as low. Enjoy.

Think some of your childhood heroes have been raped by corporate merchandising? Oh, and it mentions one of my favourite albums near the bottom of the page.

Simply by reading this blog you should qualify for an exemption to this test, but it's fun to do anyway!

I got this from someone else who blogs around these parts. Not going to say who, but it is really really really worth repeating at this point that these links are NSFW. Seriously, this is Pr0n, and if you don't find it totally disgusting, you have problems. If you're on your own computer, follow the link. But if you have to share the computer with anyone, don't. And with that, here you are.

Have you ever wondered how to make plasma? I didn't think it was that weird a thing to Google...

I'm sure I've posted it before, but it has to be one of the best movie parodies of all time. Right up there with the one that turns the Shining into a family classic.

Ellen could be doing things like this in a few years! (She could also be 3 items up, but it would be really weird to link to it someday)

And some gun porn to finish it off. And, for the noobs, there are no naked women in gun porn. Just naked guns. And not involving Leslie Nielsen either.

Like I said, that was part 1. Looking over my bookmarks, I'd say that there are realistically at least 9 more parts to this saga. And from then on I'm going to make an actual effort to post my bookmarks regularly instead of saving them up for a year.

But wait, there's a real post after all that!

In keeping with my ideas that things should change here, I've prepared a post which conforms more with the sort of things I see on other blogs. Namely, short commentaries on topical subjects (usually some sort of linkable media).

So here goes:

Finally some sensible commentary on smoking.

I have to say that the opinion expressed in that article is pretty much what I've been thinking to myself all along. Smokers are animals. Animals that don't think rationally. Or something.

Mostly, they just stink shit up. Here's a newsflash for hot girls who smoke: Kissing you sucks. A lot. If you're ugly and you smoke, you might as well prepare for a life of misery. But don't worry, every time you feel unhappy with your situation you can just light up a smoke and it'll make you feel much calmer.

But to get back to the article, I'd have to agree that the most irrational thing any smoker can do is keep smoking. Starting to smoke is easy, and most people do it when they're young and impressionable. Although given that all of my friends smoke, I may be somewhat biased in that statement.

However, I don't think the "crazy muslim extremist cleric" is really that far off of the mark when he says that smokers are idiotic for refusing to quit once the full ramifications of the habit are known to them. One could argue that anyone born in the last 30 years should know the full ramifications of smoking before they ever start, but as I said, starting is easy.

Quitting is hard. I cannot think of a single person I know who has smoked to the point of becoming an addict and who has also successfully quit. Almost all have tried, though, with only one or two exceptions. I believe (or Gmail's Quote of the Day tells me) it was John Mitchell who said, "the finest steel has to go through the hottest fire". Of course, he also said, "The Department of Justice is a law enforcement agency. It is not the place to carry on a program aimed at curing the ills of society."

So... take that with a grain of salt. Oh yeah, he was also part of Watergate.

Whatever.